Understanding menopause
Menopause is the lifestage when a woman’s reproductive hormone levels drop, and she stops having periods.
The time when you experience signs of menopause but your periods haven’t stopped is known as perimenopause. When you haven’t had a period for 12 months, the perimenopause ends and you reach menopause.
Throughout this phase, and even afterwards, some of the signs you might experience include:
Hot flushes
Mood changes
Problems with memory, concentration and ‘brain fog’
Poor sleep
Decreased sexual desire
Urinary tract infections (UTIs e.g. cystitis)
While menopause will one day affect anyone who has periods, everyone experiences it differently. While some women may notice lots of signs, others might only have a few. On average, the menopausal transition lasts about four years, but for some, signs can go on for as long as 10 years.
Open communication
How the menopause affects someone is a very individual experience. The best way to understand what your loved one is going through is to listen to them.
Ask how they’re feeling and what they’re experiencing, but let them take the lead. Be open and compassionate, and try to listen without judgment. Keep in mind that they may not feel comfortable telling you about all of their signs, so try to respect their boundaries and avoid pushing for details.
As your friend or family member goes through menopause, their experience may change, and they may want different things from you when it comes to support. Don’t be afraid to check in with them regularly. Feeling supported can make a world of difference for women on their menopause journey.
When talking about menopause, your loved one may be open to suggestions for feeling better. However, often, people just want to get things off their chest and aren’t necessarily looking for an answer or solution. Follow their lead and consider asking before offering any advice or suggestions.
Sometimes, supporting someone else can be difficult and stressful, especially if mood swings and emotional problems affect the atmosphere at home. Try not to take things personally and remember to look after yourself too.
Learning together
Many women approaching menopause feel under-informed about what to expect. In fact, a 2022 survey on 947 perimenopausal women revealed that 37% of women felt that they had some knowledge and only 2% felt very well-informed about this stage of life before the age of 40.
Exploring information about menopause together is a great way to build your knowledge as a team. It also provides an opportunity to discuss signs, lifestyle changes and even medication as the topics come up naturally.
A lack of understanding about menopause can cause women to feel disempowered and lose confidence in themselves and their bodies. Helping your loved one learn more about what’s happening to them can help them feel more in control.
Practical help
Emotional support is important, but practical support can make a big difference too.
Women often have a lot on their plates – between work, family and caregiving responsibilities. When menopausal signs are added into the mix, it can feel overwhelming. During this time, even a little help can go a long way.
Offer to help where you can. If your loved one is feeling low on energy or motivation, consider taking on some of the tasks they’re usually responsible for. If they’re struggling with hot flushes, try making the environment more comfortable by opening the windows, turning down the heating or offering a cool drink.
If you’re not sure how best to help – ask them.
Intimacy
A drop in libido (or sex drive) is a common sign of menopause. If your wife or partner is experiencing this and becomes less interested in sex, you may feel upset or even rejected.
Having open conversations about changes in intimacy can help you both express your feelings. Try to be patient with your partner as they navigate these emotional and physical changes.
There’s more than one way to be intimate, and exploring new ways to connect and show affection can bring you closer.
Supporting healthy habits
In addition to hormone replacement therapy (medication which is taken to help manage menopause signs), lifestyle changes can also help.
Making healthy changes together can make it easier for your loved one, and small changes can make a big difference.
Exercise
When it comes to menopause, there are many benefits to regular exercise.
Yoga can also be helpful for menopausal women, and it can improve a range of physical signs, including joint pain, fatigue and poor sleep.
Find an exercise that both you and your loved one enjoy, and schedule time to do it together. Not only will you be supporting them, but you’ll also be boosting your own health in the process.
Healthy eating
Healthy eating is important at all stages of life, so try to eat a healthy diet that includes plenty of fruit, vegetables and sources of calcium, such as milk, yoghurt and kale.
If you live with your loved one, it’s usually easier to eat the same meals. Showing your willingness to eat healthier food and opting for low-fat, vegetable-based recipes when it’s your turn to cook, can be a big help.
Even if you don’t live together, suggesting restaurants with healthy options when you eat out and offering nutritious foods when your loved one visits can also be a great way to support them.
Better sleep
While tiredness and poor sleep are two common menopause signs, they often result from multiple different factors.
Sleep routines are quite personal, but you can still support your loved one in developing healthy bedtime habits, especially if you sleep in the same bed.
Talk to your partner about your current routine and ask whether you’re doing anything that disrupts their sleep. You can also discuss simple changes that may help promote sleep, such as keeping screens out of the bedroom, sleeping with the window open and investing in some blackout curtains.
For women going through menopause, having support from loved ones can help lower stress levels and improve wellbeing. Every woman’s experience is different, so it’s important to allow space for your loved one to express how they’re feeling.
By offering a sympathetic ear and acting on what you hear, you can support your friend or family member through this challenging life transition.
If you would like more guidance on supporting someone through menopause, you can explore further resources on the CanesMeno® hub.
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